The Art of Letting Go

Letting Go may be difficult and scary. It makes us feel like we're surrendering and giving up. In a world of control, it is easy to think that taking the high road is synonymous to admitting  defeat and being gullible to rejection. 

On the contrary, letting go is a win-win. It will give us freedom from all of the past hurts, anger and disappointments, whose weight we've been unconsciously carrying around.  Keeping all of these negative emotions will eventually lead to physically manifested disease. Allowing forgiveness in our hearts is a gift. Once we decide to let go and forgive, everything around us and within changes. I change in the process too.

Stop, Look and Listen
The capacity to say, "Stop"  to the avalanche of thoughts and emotions that will consume me if I let it, is the     most important thing I could initially do, if I have to make a good decision in the middle of a crisis. 

In silence, I step away from it all and look at the situation from a distance in order to think and allow my feelings to simmer. That's what I learned when I started learning meditation, many years ago, to know when to say "Stop." Imagine Keanu Reeves in the film, Matrix bending backwards while he watches everything in slow motion. He was able to see what's coming towards him. It makes me see things that I don't normally see when I am blindfolded by my emotions.

Once I'm in silence, I'd be able to hear that gentle whisper from the core of my heart. I listen and when I do, the decisions resulting from this inner voice leads me to happiness and peace.

I write a love letter to myself in a notebook or a love letter to God where I honestly pour my anger, frustrations, disappointments, grief etc. Once that subsides, the feelings of gratitude is then able to spurt out and blossom. Writing them down allows my senses to work and it puts a stop to impulsive reactions due to my emotional outbursts.

When I couldn't handle the gravity of emotions whose mission is to rain on my parade, I sleep it off. I'm able to think more clearly when I wake up. 

It takes time. We can't force ourselves to let go, just like that. Perhaps we have to go through certain light or difficult situations, so our minds and hearts can comprehend and appreciate what made us feel angry in the past in the first place. We also need time to heal.

Situations on a Replay Mode
Once we are ready, we are given a chance to confront the person or situation that has been haunting us, following us wherever we go.  

Like I realized my problem with authority (bosses and clients) stems from my inability to stand up for myself against my parents in the past. I had to confront my mother and tell her how angry I have been for not giving me the voice to fight for what I want. We ended up not talking for many years.

I had no idea I was living in anger for a very long time and I seem to attract clients and sometimes bosses with the same dominant personality as my mother. Life was simply teaching me to stand my ground and fight back. Once I did stand up for myself, the problems got solved effortlessly and the clients and bosses became my friends.

We have a choice. I can keep carrying this weight around or I could start appreciating the fact the my mother just means well and that's the only way she knows how. I started seeing her positive side and I became grateful, once I've decided to set aside and throw away all the anger and accept that if it weren't for the past, I will not be who I am now. 

Most Importantly, Love
God's love heals. Love is the opposite of fear. His light extinguishes darkness.

Love for the self. A Pat on the back.Congratulating the self with a treat after overcoming such a feat. 

Loving myself will keep me nourished, to face the future without fear, surrendering my desires, following my heart and being open to how life unfolds. 

Letting Go is like jumping off into a void and trusting someone or something is going to catch you. Only Love can do that.

Is there something you wish to let go?
Love and light,

{Day 30: React to this term: Letting Go. More posts here}

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  1. Wonderful post Arni – really thought-provoking. Letting go is something I struggle with. I’m not sure how it came about but I tend to be quite closed off by nature, I guess in fear of getting hurt. It’s something I am working on, and the older I get, the easier I find it is to let go and not ‘sweat the small stuff’ and let more people in!

  2. such a nice post and so warm words. love it.
    wish you all the best!
    maren anita

    FASHION-MEETS-ART by Maren Anita

  3. I do those things too when I find myself in difficult situations. Drpping by from the link up and definitely adding you to my reading list.

    <3 Gab

  4. Excellent well thought out view on letting go. I am already doing some of the things you talked about, but will try a few more. Thanks for the insight.

  5. Hi Arni,

    Stopping by from the link up. Great post on letting go and dealing with people. Wow, look at all the places you have been. I need to catch up on my reading!


  6. I try to let go of my anger and grudges that i hold against people...but it's not easy. Great post Arni!

  7. Very thoughtful post! I usually find it difficult to let go because I'm quite resentful and never find it easy to forgive and forget - I think of myself as a very typical scorpio. But indeed, time and distance helps to heal (almost) everything.

    Have a wonderful weekend, Arni!
    xo Irene

  8. Wow. I think I really needed to read this post. I have dealt with many figures I butted heads with but most of the time because sometimes I can't react fast enough, or because no matter how rude or mean a person is I didn't want to hurt them or treat them the same way, I always found myself venting afterwards and regretting not being stronger. I still struggle. But I think I am getting better at not being authoritative.. but standing my ground and yet being civil. I think it's a fine fine balance that not many people know how to walk. Thanks for this post!

  9. I really do like this because it's all about giving yourself a break. I'm one of those who has a really hard time doing that so it has been nice to do that on occasion. And you're right - don't forget to love yourself and take care of yourself. If you can't, how are you supposed to take care of anyone else?