What I Learned in 2013: Learning to Say No

Since, we are three days away from 2014, please allow me to indulge in introspection. The year end always calls for a time of reflection.

What did life teach me this year? 

The concept of learning to say no was not a stranger to me since my previous job. I remember my former superior, Glenn, who taught me its importance. As one might expect, I was stubborn and failed several times. Like a teacher, he reminded me each time and for years, I slowly absorbed the concept.  It was not until 2012 when I had a lot of time in my hands that I realized the value of this. 

During my one year career break, there were lots of time for meditation and realization that throughout my life, I simply grew up unaware that we all have this power, because for many years, saying no meant getting punished. Perhaps sometimes, it's also an admission of weakness, that I wasn't strong enough to fulfill many commitments. There was also a fear of not being liked.

It is not easy as we might think given the technology, we are constantly bombarded with emails, instant messages, phone calls anywhere and anytime. Usually, our response elicits a negative reaction

2013 threw a series of tests. You also must have read previous posts about the Land Hunt Series, herehere and here. 2013 placed me in many situations challenging each time whether I would give in or hold my ground.  

When I learned the value of my time, I turned down invitations from friends and acquaintances if I see it's not n'sync with my priorities at that given moment.  I said no at work when I know I cannot get the job done because there isn't enough time or resources. (Even though I still worked late, the commitment I said yes to was realistic).
When I learned what's important to me, I said no when I can't afford it.
When I embraced my own value, I said no when I think and feel something is not right and fair.

Once I learned what my personal values and priorities are, it was easier to say no and it is 100% guilt free.

I found an article and it is refreshing to read so I thought of sharing it with you- The Gentle Art of Saying No

What was your learning for this year?
Love & Light,

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  1. I'm always hungry for more work, so I never, never ever, say NO at work :) but I might say no in other occassions.

  2. i always had (still sometimes do) the hardest time saying no, especially at work and to people's favors. i was always afraid of hurting people's feelings or would feel guilty that everyone else was going above and beyond so why shouldn't i. i then realized that i was in a work environment that didn't fit me. everyone would complain about being overworked but no one said anything. but i did and then i quit. i still struggling with saying no to favors but i'm so much better than i used to be. thanks for the article - i bookmarked it and will read it soon!

  3. This is a great learning and one that I really struggle with. Not so much in my personal life - although a little bit, but definitely in the work place! I think my learning this year was/is Persistence Pays Off.

  4. I'm working on this myself. It's so hard to say no sometimes and put yourself first but its something we really need to do sometimes to better ourselves.

    Breakfast at Cindi’s