Stay At Home Mom

To stay at home or to continue to work? This is a tough question most mothers have to face and answer after 9 months of pregnancy. 


When I was younger looking into the future, I always envisioned myself spending at least the first year with my imaginary child. Having said that, the answer didn't come as simple as I thought.  There were sacrifices to be made. 

I was worried of three things should I quit my job:
  • I was afraid that I would harbor resentment towards my child someday if I miss out on opportunities.
  • I have limited time to succeed in the Interior Design field since I'm not in my 20s anymore.. Getting back in the rat race after one year of absence in my mid-30s is a bit worry-some.
  • Financially, we also have to tighten our belts and adjust our household budget.
Nevertheless, I have made a decision. 

It was a carefully thought decision. I experienced both worlds before taking the leap. I spent full days with my daughter during my maternity leave and  I went back to work after two short months.  To make it more difficult to decide, I was granted a promotion with more responsibilities. Should things have been the same at the office, I think I would have continued working, but there were circumstantial changes that resulted to longer working hours and lots of overtime work that sometimes extend to 10pm or 2am in the office.  

The lack of time for my child became alarming that led to my choice.

I remember a chance encounter at the mall with a stranger while I was on leave. A woman in her sixties who's both a mom and a grandmother. We were waiting for the shops to open.  A conversation was ignited whether to stay at home or to work. She was a stay at home mom with all of her kids. As she proudly showed me photos of her children and grandchildren, she strongly advised that it's better for me to hire a nanny and continue working.  

I didn't expect that advice to come from a proud mother. At that time I nodded and thought, "I'm going to continue working anyway."

Before submitting my resignation letter, I thought about what she said. Will I regret my decision later?  

The voice in my head prompted me to choose my daughter over my career at this time. I think that if I'm meant to continue in my career path, something will eventually happen a year later. Doors will open for me to go back. Otherwise, there's another path I'm destined to venture.

For now, my heart tells me, being a stay at home mom for a year will give both of us happiness and fulfillment. This decision, I hope, will get rid of any regrets in the future. If given the chance, I can always freelance, right?  Now let's see if I can handle chores and work during her nap time.

As I'm wrapping up projects during my month's notice, I'm keeping my fingers crossed in becoming a full time mom soon.

What was your decision? 
What sacrifices did you have to make?
If you are planning to become a Mom one day, 
will you continue to work  or stay at home?

Happy weekend!
Love and light,
Arni


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9 comments

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  2. It seems to me you are doing quite well with your work but you chose your daughter, that to me, is amazing. It's not easy to sacrifice one's work, especially if you are successful at it. So it always fascinates me whenever I see women choosing to stay at home and care for their children. I don't think you will regret this decision. Work can wait for at least a year. I think this time with your daughter will do you both good. It will strengthen your bond. If ever I get a kid someday, I'd still work, but I'd love to take a year off too to care for my baby.

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  3. aw, what an amazing and difficult decision! i also recently resigned from my job to be a stay at home mama. i've been wanting to do so ever since before i got married though, so i suppose we're in different circumstances. nevertheless, your baby is so blessed to have you full-time for the time being!!! :)

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  4. aww arni, what an amazing decision. best of luck to you. you know, i always thought i would always be working in the field that i loved. but it was only a few years back that i didn't want that kind of life anymore and now i'm looking at other possibilities but most importantly just taking care of the home and being happy. when i was younger i always thought that even if i became a mom i would still work but i think differently now. i don't think there will be anything more rewarding for me than to be a stay at home mom. but i know everyone is different and each woman's decision that she makes for herself is the right one. much love to you.

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  5. Good luck with everything! If you get that settled feeling in the pit of your stomach (even if you have tiny butterflies), it means you did the right thing. And you're right - things can always change and it's not a forever type of decision.

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  6. Arni, congrats on making a decision. It is one of the hardest decision any mother has to make. I'm lucky to have 1 year maternity leave and I love being around for bub and seeing him grow before my very eyes and am glad that now you have the same opportunity too.

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  7. I can only imagine how difficult of a decision that must have been. I am so glad that you found the right choice for you!

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  8. I;d probably agree with that grandmother and hire a nanny when you have longer working hours. I don't think that anybody can feel fully fulfilled without a career because anybody can be a parent, but anybody can be successful in their work. Hope your decision proves good for you later on :)

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  9. It's a difficult decision and a very personal one but I'm sure you won't regret it. You have obviously given it plenty of thought and the time you spend as a full-time mum will be a very special period of your life.

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