Diary
Expat Parents
Coffee Talk
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| My morning coffee to kick start the day as a Stay at Home Mom |
How have you been lately?
The daily routine kicks in and before we know it, another weekend comes, another month passes, and in a few weeks, Halloween costume clad kids will be knocking on our doors (not that we have a lot of them) and our news feed will be filled with adult friends playing dress up. This means another thing, Christmas is not far away.
Where did the rest of your year go? Did you make a goals list last year? How's it going? Did you manage to tick some of the items off?
I made an exception this year. I didn't write any goals for 2014. I suppose it was because I didn't know what to expect of motherhood and for a change, I spent the year just winging it. Going with the flow and deciding on a few lifestyle and career changes to suit the present need.
The daily routine has somehow blurred the concept of time for me lately. Its only reminder are the milestones and daily changes I see in my daughter as well as the lines that are starting to appear on my forehead. I also feel blessed for the gift of time, for being a part of family and friends' milestones and achievements.
Yet, I do sometimes feel I am not present at all. Like a part of me is somewhere else. I am left scatterbrained most of the time.
At the moment I'm torn. I want to go back to work. Yet I don't want to miss my baby's early months while wondering if she'd receive the care she deserves and the care I want for her to have. On the other hand I want to reclaim my identity, but somehow feel guilty, afraid that my decision would affect her permanently. I know it's not fair complaining or even considering my concerns to be an obstacle where it's hardly one compared to bigger problems there are in the world.
Just like what I've been doing for the rest of the year, I'm going to wing it and see where one decision after another takes me. I'm toying with the idea of working part time as a freelancer while still balancing some time to spend being a Mom. Let's see where that goes.
Are you going to draft a goals list for 2015?
Love & light,
Arni
8 comments
I always start out the year with a list of goals that ends up getting revised in the summertime. This year has certainly sped by and I don't even have a baby to blame. It's crazy that it's going to be the holiday season again before we know it... really need to slow things down this fall, just a smidge
ReplyDeleteHopefully Thanksgiving and Halloween will make the last bit of the year a tad slower.
Deletethe baby will not be happy if her mom isn't all happy either :) You should probably try to find some kind of balance between taking care of her and returning to work at least at some extent
ReplyDeleteThanks Dezzy, I completely agree. Striking a balance is my next important goal.
Deletei had one goal -- which was to read books and i did ok. well it was really to get the love of reading back which i don't think really happened. not like the way i love knitting and crocheting and taking pictures. i remember i used to just have my nose in a book for hours.. but perhaps my interests have grown more and me not reading the way i used to is ok :) but i think i literally went two years without reading and so getting a few books under my belt felt good overall!
ReplyDeleteList of books to read is an excellent idea.
DeleteI can see that you are struggling with trying to be a good mom but also wanting to do something that is for you. I am not in a position to share an opinion regarding this since I am no mother but I can imagine the frustration it brings. I think though that if somewhere along the way your decision changes, or be tweaked just a wee bit, I still think it will be a good decision. When things don't work out they give us lessons, when they do work, well isn't that grand. So I think whatever we choose to do to handle things, there will always be something good to come out of 'em. You just follow your heart dear.
ReplyDeleteAs of me, nope I didn't make a list of things to do, but I do write a list of places I want to visit. And since I started doing that, I've somehow managed to take myself to those places. So it's the same kind of list that I will be making this 2015 I guess :)
Thank you for your kind words. I like the idea of list of places to go to for each year. I have a total list of places with no timeframe. I think breaking them down per year like yours makes it more doable .
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