I'm happy to take part in a blogger link up called The Expat Experience by The Move to America

I arrived in Dubai alone in June 2003. I was a naive, single, twenty something with no international experience. Moving to the Middle East was never a part of my life plan, but the opportunity to work in such a vibrant city for an international company was promising.

An old Dubai photo taken in 2004

Scorching weather. I remember arriving on a hot 39 degree Celsius (102 deg F) Thursday evening. It was humid and hot! Thursdays in Dubai are synonymous to Friday nights for the rest of the world.  I was amazed by the number of men on the street that evening.  

Hungry looks. What caught my attention was the way expat men, looked at women. They gaped hungrily like they're mentally stripping you off your clothes.  

I asked my fashion designer uncle if it was just me imagining it and what was wrong with them otherwise. He merely said, "It's Thursday. It's hunting night."  After many years living here, I became immune to such looks.

Conservative norms. I cut my long hair to a chin length bob prior to coming here and chose very conservative business clothes. I was a bit paranoid, but was later relieved to see Dubai much more open than I expected. 

Depending on which place you go, wearing a decent outfit is the best way to show a sign of respect for others (and to avoid disapproving looks at the same time).

Being an expressive and naturally "touchy" person who loves to physically touch people innocently- got me into a few misunderstood situations.

A local client closed a deal and thought I was interested in him when I inadvertently touched his arm during a discussion. I wondered why he started offering expensive gifts which I never accepted. Later, I realized, I should keep my hands off all the time and should never accept any of these gifts. For single gals of different nationality, when receiving suitors from the region, avoid accepting gifts.  These gifts come with a price and certain expectations.

Luckily for me, I was given a quick orientation by flat mates and co-workers regarding  unspoken laws and rules in the country to steer clear from trouble. (I'll share them later below)

Patience is a virtue (The virtue that made me survive and thrive here).

Emiratis make up 9% of the population while 91 % are expats. (See the big difference?) These expats, I being one of them, come from different parts of the world.  

Culture clashes are expected not only in the work place but also on the road.  Road rage is common and it's a daily habit to get unnerved when someone cuts from the leftmost lane to exit on the right without an indicator.  However angry you get, don't ever express this anger with your fingers. (I'll tell you about this later.)

A Road to Independence and blissful freedom

I grew up being pampered with a housekeeper and a nanny who prepared my meals since I was a baby. Thankful for those summers when I had to prepare simple meals at home. The toughest thing was learning to live alone without help. My first few months, I survived on tuna cans and instant noodles. 

Grateful for that experience, I eventually learned how to cook, do my own laundry, and independently live and solve my own problems. Living abroad gave me self confidence and courage.

Two men holding hands in public is normal. It's a genuine sign of friendship- purely platonic.

{Drum roll} Without further ado, here are: Do's and Don'ts in Dubai

• Drink plenty of water. Dehydration is rampant especially during the summer. To avoid fainting and  urinary tract infection, water, water water.

UAE is a fabulous country. We come here for leisure or employment. Either way the key is to respect its traditions and culture. After almost 11 years here, Dubai has somewhat become my home.

I can't believe it's the last day of 2013!

As we drove past boulangeries, charcuteries and supermarkets filled with people preparing to buy ingredients for tonight's supper despite the freezing temperature, I enjoyed the enthusiasm in the air watching everyone clutching bottles of champagne while they argued which aperitif to serve this evening.  The three men of the house, my husband, father-in-law, and nephew went about the grocery aisle of L'Eclerc, a massive hypermarket chain popular in their area pushing un chariot - a grocery cart. 

Like a typical gourmande, I was salivating on the oysters and lobsters and smoked salmon and langoustes I can't eat.  I browsed through the wine section for all the bottles I can't drink and perused the large cheese section wondering whether camembert and brie are safe enough to devour even just for this evening.


We have a few days left in France and a quick stop in a discount grocery called Lidl is due. According to my husband, it's a place where one can buy really cheap food and stuff, not necessarily the best in quality but with several known brands, one can't really go wrong.

The concept of learning to say no was not a stranger to me since my previous job. I remember my former superior, Glenn, who taught me its importance. As one might expect, I was stubborn and failed several times. Like a teacher, he reminded me each time and for years, I slowly absorbed the concept.  It was not until 2012 when I had a lot of time in my hands that I realized the value of this. 

During my one year career break, there were lots of time for meditation and realization that throughout my life, I simply grew up unaware that we all have this power, because for many years, saying no meant getting punished. Perhaps sometimes, it's also an admission of weakness, that I wasn't strong enough to fulfill many commitments. There was also a fear of not being liked.

It is not easy as we might think given the technology, we are constantly bombarded with emails, instant messages, phone calls anywhere and anytime. Usually, our response elicits a negative reaction

2013 threw a series of tests. You also must have read previous posts about the Land Hunt Series, here, here and here. 2013 placed me in many situations challenging each time whether I would give in or hold my ground.  

When I learned the value of my time, I turned down invitations from friends and acquaintances if I see it's not n'sync with my priorities at that given moment.  I said no at work when I know I cannot get the job done because there isn't enough time or resources. (Even though I still worked late, the commitment I said yes to was realistic).
When I learned what's important to me, I said no when I can't afford it.
When I embraced my own value, I said no when I think and feel something is not right and fair.

Once I learned what my personal values and priorities are, it was easier to say no and it is 100% guilt free.

I found an article and it is refreshing to read so I thought of sharing it with you- The Gentle Art of Saying No

What was your learning for this year?

Love & Light,

Arni