Finding Home

The past decade, I spent all my life looking for that perfect feeling of home. This quest motivated me to start traveling. At a tender age of 4 when I grew fascinated by a book that my Mom gave me, the fire in my heart to leave my country burned so bright.  Somehow, I felt I didn't belong there.  It is a beautiful country to see as a tourist, but at a young age I felt like an alien. I  remember looking up at the night sky wondering if  before we were born,we were given a choice, maybe there was a mistake. There was something missing. So this search for home and peace, wherever that may be, became a distant goal.   

Throughout those trips, I took in their beauty and got acquainted with every place I visited.You might have noticed that, I always write about France because it is a country, where I first felt that feeling of "home". Yes, I'm definitely a Francophile. France is my refuge where I go to, to recharge. If in need of inspiration, there's plenty there. It's even amusing that every time I left France, I always start crying in the train.  I'm just weird like that.  When I am in Dubai, I  listen to french online radio and bask in the beautiful voice of their advertisements, indulge more in french cuisine and watch a lot of french films because they somehow make me happy. 

Until recently, I found peace, that goes beyond things or places. I still don't know when I stumbled upon it.  I found it right after a really dark period in my life this year when I finally decided to give up the search.  My last trip to France this year, in September, I was surprised that I didn't cry in the train anymore as I watched the platform disappear.  

You might notice that I started writing a lot more about where I temporarily live now. I am happy to be able to see the beauty of what I once saw as a mere sand pit and a massive city of cranes.  I suddenly noticed this appreciation for how red the sand is or how the sky can also be blue here (back then they always looked brownish grey all the time).

I'm holding on to this peace that I have found.
Maybe this time,  I can make better memories 
and finally find closure to a place I'm supposed to call home.

May peace be always with us.

P.S.  These pictures were taken the same day as   The Big Red trip.

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  1. That's a touching post, Arni, at least for me because I have, somehow, been doing the same quest!
    When I was 8 years old I received for Christmas a guidebook of London and another of NY and ever since I was deeply attracted to the world out there and I knew that I would love to travel non-stop when I grew up. 20 years later I've been lucky enough to live in four different countries and travel a bit around Europe. And most of times I've felt at home wherever I've been to. The quest hasn't ended for me though, as I haven't settled down yet. So, I'm really curious about where life will take me next and I'm looking forward to the next adventure :)

    xo Irene

  2. If those are pictures of your home - it's really quite gorgeous. I myself am an Anglophile and felt like I was coming home when I went to London for the first time so I totally get your feeling

  3. These pictures are makes me want to come visit!!! I love the contemplation of what/where is home. I find myself thinking about it often. And often without reaching any conclusion. :) Glad to know about your blog!

  4. Home is where your heart is! I can certainly understand your love of France - it's a great place! I have a couple of awards for you - one is at Mama Diaries, and the other is at Gone Gardening. Stop by to pick them up.

  5. I think that is a beautiful realisation and an important one too. We move a fair bit and I find that 'home' now means different things to me. Mostly, home is where we are together. It's where I set down my books and hang up my art. At the moment that happens in three countries, so I have three homes, and that's okay xoxox

  6. Home is often really confusing for me too. And really it for me Australia feels like home and there is one piece of land in the US that feels like home. And that's it.

    Love this post.

  7. This post really resonated with me because I have been on the same quest since I left South Africa after I finished school. Every holiday has been a sort of audition for possible future settlement. I talk this through with my husband all the time because I find myself despairing that I will never find my ‘home’. I worry that since I am not home (where I was born and grew up), I will never truly feel like I am at home (if you get what I mean). Of course he assures me constantly that our home is out there somewhere, in the meantime we will just have lots of fun discovering it! Here’s hoping you find your home soon too!

  8. Great post, who wouldn't love France, I would have loved to grow up there. But I agree traveling opens up your mind.

    Breakfast at Cindi’s